cjlambert's posthaven

When I was a teenager I had horrifically bad skin.

The nasty bright red scarring variety that is impossible to cover over
and makes you feel like one of the lepers that star in the Bible.

Well meaning folk told me I was eating the wrong things, using the
wrong skin products and just generally- doing it all wrong. What an
awesome boost to the ego when you are already feeling crap about your
self-image as a teenager with braces on your teeth and a lumpy body
that you’re growing into.

I bought every zit remedy from every snake oil marketer. Janola-based
junk that torched my skin and made it flake and feel like sandpaper
with a light salad dressing of oil.

When I was 17 I finally went to a doctor and was told that I had
‘small pores’ and that my skin could be easily cleared up in four to
six weeks with the right medication. He was just a GP, not a
dermatologist and I didn’t have to take steroids or any of that
hardcore stuff like Roaccutane.

It worked.

The reason I’m thinking about this is because I saw a teenage girl on
the train today with the same nasty skin that I had at her age. I
could see the yucky dry patches and crusty cover-up makeup splotches
that I used to also battle with. I wanted to go up to this stranger
and tell her that it wasn’t her fault. That her skin was just made
that way and that she would be grateful when she was older because us
‘small pore’ freaks age really well (according to my nice doctor man).

I didn’t have the guts to do it but it did get me thinking how we can
go through life beating ourselves up about things that are outside of
our control and not your fault. I was born with the skin I was born
with (no this isn’t a Lady Gaga song about sexuality -little
monsters). Sometimes, you’re just not getting very good advice and
well meaning people in your life can actually send you down the river.
Sometimes you need to step back and really qualify the advice you’re
getting and ensure that shoot–from-the-hip stuff isn’t making you
miserable.

PS: If you’re the girl on the train. Go to your GP and stop buying
crap from the supermarket or those Justin Bieber Proactiv ads. He has
naturally great skin.

Yesterday, I had a really good service experience.

Shocking I know as blogs are usually vehicles for passive aggressive
rants about emo staff and business processes that have been designed
by a mentally challenged ostrich.

So what made it so good?

1. Listening: The consultant sat down with me and asked me open-ended
questions about my own lifestyle, needs and expectations. She then
relayed back to me what she had understood so I had the confidence
that I’d been heard.

2. Preference: At all stages, I was asked what my personal preferences
were and I felt in control of the situation. Preferred contact method,
preferred drink, and preferred time of the day for an appointment.
The experience was being customised to my needs.

3. Expectations: My expectations were managed all through the
experience. I was given three pricing options and asked about my
budget. I was told how long it would take and what results I could
expect. I was then given time to make a selection and assured that
there was no pressure for me to take the most expensive option.

4. Good business processes: Before the appointment, I was sent a text
confirming my scheduled time and the location and contact phone number
if I needed directions or help. I was greeted on arrival by first name
and sent a thank you email with a request for rebooking or feedback
when I got home.

5. The people were 'people people': Most importantly, the staff were
all friendly, could make polite conversation and were attentive to
basic things such as making sure I was comfortable, had a drink and
that I had found the place OK.

Simple things, executed well, and I walked out the door with a
reasonable dent in my bank account and yet still, a plan to return.
The owner told me they had a 90% customer retention rate so the payoff
speaks for itself.

from Sumit

Want to multiply your message?

To the person who tweeted me and asked me ‘Are you dead? I’m most
certainly alive and well and back at the keyboard, ready to light some
more fires that may get me in Twitter jail but hopefully not in the
real one.

In real life, my lag is over and I’ve been released from Mt Eden
prison after a fascinating few months in the Big House.

(Just to clarify: It was a Department of Corrections job, not a court
order that put me down in the men’s jail).

Security restrictions mean that you don’t have a cellphone inside the
wire (that’s prison talk), and I must say after a few years in on-call
media relations, it’s been nice having a breather from ringing phones,
beeping text messages and constant emails.

I’ve never heard more fascinating work stories and seen more
interesting things in all the places I’ve worked. From the ghost in
the abandoned cell to escape attempts, riots, a guy who though he was
Elvis, hunger strikers, homemade tattoo guns and five year-old kids
that ‘gang sign’ to their Dad in visits; it’s certainly been an
eye-opener.

Corrections Officers are fantastic storytellers and they love to shock
and entertain you with dramatic tales no Wellywood scriptwriter could
ever concoct. People are naturally fascinated with the Underworld
(count how many police/crime/gangs shows there are on TV) and I’m no
exception. My behind-the-scenes look was like wandering around inside
a Discovery channel doco. Old Mt Eden prison is like nothing you’ll
ever see again in this country and I feel privileged that I’ve
experienced it as a working jail and met some of it’s characters. My
attitudes toward crime and punishment, treatment of prisoners,
forgiveness and rehabilitation have also been radically challenged but
that’s a bit heavy and I’ll get in to that another time. Anyone who
thinks being in prison is like a holiday park is obviously going to
some pretty grim holiday parks. Prison is shit and I certainly never
want to be one of Corrections “clients”. It's nice to be able to walk
out the front gate at the end of the day.

If you think a ‘like to enter’ competition on your company Facebook
page is a cunning way to grow your follower numbers you are probably
right- in the short term.

There seems to be a proliferation of the little thumbs up competitions
rolling through New Zealand at the moment and excited marketing
managers are finally ‘doing’ social media. Or so their agency tells
them.

The promotional mechanic is not new. It’s the modern version of
putting your business card in a bowl for a $50 bar tab draw. As
customers, we all know how this goes down. They company will then add
your details to their database and send you offers via email or text.
Continuously. To the point where you can’t take their noisy crap
anymore and you unsubscribe.  Or, in Facebook’s case, hit the ‘hide’
button.

If companies continue to treat Facebook as a loyalty database they
will end up with the same problems that direct marketers have fought
with since Claude C Hopkins first started busting out coupons in the
1920s.

Getting the balance right between engagement and spam requires people
driving the accounts to understand their community and have a sense
for what they will tolerate (in commercial messaging) versus making
them find your company unbearably annoying.

You need to keep an eye on the stats running in the background of your
Facebook fan pages and keep an eye on your exit and hide rates; not
just your engagement rates (likes and comments). All standard issue
loyalty marketing stuff that you need to report on as you would with a
Farmer’s Beauty Club or a Flybuys card database.  Watch your campaign
flight planning and make sure you aren’t fatiguing the community with
stuff that is exciting for you e.g. ‘check out our new TV ad!’, but
that is of no interest to your punters.

In the tips for new players category, read the Facebook competition
terms of service and stick to them. Big brother is watching you and
they will kindly send you a warning email that you should kindly
comply with or your fanpage will be disabled.  ‘Comment to enter’,
‘upload to enter’ and ‘like to enter’ have to be setup a certain way
to meet Facebook legal requirements and it pays to educate yourself on
what’s in and what’s out.

>

It seems people affected by the tsunami aren’t the only ones
clambering to higher ground.

Air New Zealand’s Robbie Fyfe has decided to waggle his finger at a
few news organisations for alleged sensationalist coverage of the
Japan nuclear issue.

Not only is it a boring and petty issue that a CEO at that level
should not be entering into; it opens them up for criticism of some of
their own media management. Finger-pointy-glass-housie-stone-throwing
is not cool. It might even cause a cynical Monday morning member of
the typing pool such as myself to question the company's jealous
outburst at Mike Pero for daring to take some of the sunshine off
their media gush-fest to Erabus in 2009?

Or perhaps their stage-managing the return of Air New Zealand plane
crash victims in full view of the media complete with soundtrack? A
nice touch or a publicity stunt?

Shouting down 'The Listener' for daring to criticise the organisation
in an editorial piece? Clever campaigning or corporate defensiveness?

Take your hand off it Air New Zealand and keep your top talent out of
handbag arguments.

>

Bring The Noise: Social Media and Contact Centres

 

A few comments from yours truly on the mega-topic of social media channels and their interaction with call centre. Excellent analysis and write up by Keith Newman. 

 

Newman, Keith. Telecommunications Review, February 2011. 
Social media transforms the business feedback loop and contact centres geared up to deliver customer service through these channels will leave their competitors in the digital dust. 

 

 

>

Prince Willy is a likeable toff and I’m quite excited that he’s coming
to New Zealand next week to waltz  around in a high-viz  and kiss a
few babies in Christchurch.

John ‘smile and wave’ Key and Saint Bob Parker will be completing the
royal flush of warm fuzzies.  The golden triangle of current media
darlings. The three nice guys of news and current affairs.

I’m a fan of all three but it has lead me to think: does it make a
difference that they are guys?

Is it easier to like a man in a leadership scenario than a woman?

Note I said ‘like’. Not ‘respect’ or ‘admire’ or ‘submit to’. To
genuinely like them.

Prime Minister Julia Gillard and Premier Anna Bligh did an excellent
job of fronting the Queensland floods issue and I was impressed by
what they did. But I can’t say I get the ‘awwww didn’t he do well’
factor I get with Saint Bob.

Is gender a contributing factor to likeableness or is it just a matter
of personality?

If we subbed out Lady Diana for Prince Willy would the Christchurch
like-fest have continued? Probably. If we subbed out Helen Clark for
John Key would we still be as enamoured? Probably not. Julia Gillard
cried during the floods and got mocked for faking it. If John Key
cried, every woman in New Zealand would probably rush to Christchurch
to give him a hug. Women look quite silly in hard hats, look frumpy in
flat shoes and can come across as being bossy when issuing key
messages. Everything just seems to work against us.

As a child raised on a diet of Women’s Weekly royal covers, Disney
handsome prince movies and TV1 6pm news, maybe it’s just how I’ve been
socialised and the familiar makes me comfortable.

I’m just pleased Willy’s won’t be bringing that tart that ruined my
chance of becoming a Princess.

"This trend will, in turn, encourage the increasing virtualization of the
organization. As 24/7 connectivity, social networking, and increased
demands for personal freedom further penetrate the walls of the
corporation, corporate life will continue to move away from traditional
hierarchical structures. Instead, workers, mixing business and personal
matters over the course of the day, will self-organize into agile communities
of interest. By 2020, more than half of all employees at large corporations
will work in virtual project groups." Roman Friedrich, Michael Peterson, and Alex Koster, Generation C at Work

 

The concept of virtual workforces is very appealing yet highly unlikely.

In some industries, it works well and online collaboration ensure that the best

heads are put around a project regardless of their geographical location.

 

For the most part, I don’t see employees ‘self-organising into agile

communities of interest’ mainly because existing power structures are still

locked into a 1960’s mentality of spending 8am to 5pm, bolted in a cubicle

with half an hour for lunch.

 

One of the most frustrating scenarios that inevitably crops up with the project

work I do is the ‘where were you?’ conversation or worse still, the ‘what time

do you call this?” conversation.

 

I make it very clear to all my clients that I’m contactable 24/7 but don’t expect

me to sit at a desk and pretend to look busy for eight hours per day.

 

(If the meeting is at 10am, I’ll turn up at 10am, not 8am and then read the

paper and fluff around and have a coffee until 10am).

 

The reality is, most of the people that sign my invoices (and their employees)

ARE required to clock in like good little factory workers and they don’t see

why I should be treated any different.

 

Often, the C-suite have been with the organisation their whole career and

have come up through the ranks by being the first to arrive, the last to leave

and aspiring to climb the corporate ladder. The complete opposite of a flat,

egalitarian, trust-based structure that virtualisation requires.

 

Human beings are naturally competitive and any opportunity to tar a

colleague with the ‘slacker’ brush is often taken by middle managers trying to

make themselves look good in the ascent.

 

Some people make their whole career out of crowing about how busy and

important they are and making sure that the other bees in the hive know

about it. I'm sure you're all familiar with the "I'm completely snowed under" guy. 

 

You just need to go to Friday night drinks at a large corporate to hear ‘ Jason

had two hours for lunch today’ or ‘Sue is always on the phone organising her

house renovations’ moans of injustice.  Real world interactions are important and can't be replaced by a chat room.

 

Virtual workforces are a nice idea, but a long way off and certainly not

something I expect to see dominating in the next 10 years. What are your thoughts and experiences?