The Problem With Winning
I had one of those ‘losing’ days on Tuesday.
I had a run of tinfoil helmet wearers abusing me over the phone in response to a media article.
My running shoes got nicked.
I was on hold to the IRD and lost three hours of my life I’ll never get back.
I was down 0-3 so when a friend called me to go out to dinner I was ready to throw in the towel and count my losses.
Table for Two
The waiter offered to seat us in a pokey little corner to play elbow wars with some tourists while the restaurant sat empty.
I pointed at the table I wanted to sit at—the sunny one—bit more room.
“No that’s a table for four, there’s only two of you.”
The four seats was my first clue. I knew this but I wanted to sit ‘there’.
“If you sit ‘there’ and four people come in we’re going to have to move you.”
Like hell. I wasn’t in the mood to lose again and suggested they sit me ‘there’ or I was going to walk.
The waiter grumbled as I brushed past and sat ‘there’ anyway. Finally I had tiny victory, 3-1.
The Counter Attack
Waiter One approached. “We’re just going to have to move you to the smaller table in the corner-we have a party for four that needs this table.”
Someone was clearly mocking me. I said we were in the middle of the meal and might just stay where we were and thank you kindly for the offer. To me, you pay the same price if you’re playing elbows with the tourists or lounged out in a booth so why compromise? First up best dressed.
Looking slightly miffed, Waiter One returned to her platoon and relayed the unsuccessful mission.
Waiter Two approached complete with big smiley face. “I’m reaaaally sorry but we have a party of four and they need this table so if you wouldn’t mind moving to the smaller table.”
Once again I declined, said I was fine where I was. Gave her ‘the look’. Go away.
Waiter Two’s smiley face immediately disappeared into something peevish as she stomped back to the envoy. I’m sure she muttered some reference to a female dog.
Resisting the urge to break out my Jerry Springer head/finger waggle, I quaffed wine for strength and resolve, only to look up again and see, you guessed it… Waiter Three.
Waiter Three began with “We’re going to let you sit here this time but just so you know that in future…”
Steam came out of my ears. I was being told off. At one of my favourite restaurants. That I go to quite a lot. That isn’t cheap. I was about to go down 4-0 for the day.
